Season Diary 12

Entry #12: Friday 31st October 2008

When i first started this diary thing i wasnt sure what i was really going to say and i kind of hoped that what with our great start to the season it would be a chance to write positive things and record good memories. After Wednesdays debacle i find myself unsure, i even left this post an extra day as i could have easily written it yesterday but didnt want to spout all sorts of venomous vitriol about the Quarter final game. But as it happens i feel the same today so may as well give it both barrels. The game ended three one as it happens.

After the game while walking back to my car i looked forward to the first person to utter the famous phrase "we were shoote but there not much better" because sadly that statement is a load of meaningless bollocks, especially said after last nights display, i decided to go into the pub to wait for the traffic to calm down (i use this as an excuse, i could easily used; wanted to see end of Arsenal game or fancied a can of juice, however none of thats true i was basically spoiling for an arguement) someone did utter that stupidist of stupid sayings but i didnt have the heart to take him to task, his girlfriend had their first child earlier in the week.

So effectively i am taking it that whoever reads this has said that thing to me, so this is how i would reply. Celtic were streets ahead of us, playing neat little triangles and breaking at pace when the opportunity arises. Personally it makes me wonder what we actually do when we go up to glasgow to train, play hide and seek perhaps. Games like these show up how much fitter the old firm seem in comparison to us, this is something which can be easily reversed, we may not be able to bring in the top players or pay the greatest wages but surely we can get our team fitter than anyone else, we are a full time club with full time players, super fitness should be an easy attribute to aquire and keep for professional SPL players. It is ilso worth noting that pass and move exercises are performed by every team of all ages in every training session in every town in every country in every universe, and exercises where shutting down these passing movements are performed also, god i did it when i trained, its the fundamentals!

Its these fundamentals that we seem to lack. Other gripes about training, why cant we defend corners. Scott macdonald scored a header, thats Scott macDonald who a week earlier was described as one of celtic seven dwarves, a wee mistake on our part then? It would seem no, he missed a further two or three headers from corners also, how does this happen? Free kicks that are played into our box, again in every training session in britian you defend your 18 yard line, we dont. somewhere closer to ten yards out is ok by us, where did we learn this? So set plays havent been mastered to any degree it would seem and even if they were the fact that it happens repeatedly in games means that we learn nothing from week to week, hell, from corner to corner. When attacking? Any set plays we had ourselves were wee floated in poofy balls that are meat and drink to the Caldwells of this world, no variation or anyone who looked like they had a clue. Turning defence into attack, non existant, this would come under the fitness aspect i suppose though, which i have covered and to reiterate WE DONT MATCH UP! Finally, er, do we ever shoot?

Tactics chosen seem odd, we change our system to play only these two teams, one man up front (our winger) one in behind. Two breakers in the middle, two wingers (our two most creative centre mids). it didnt work, we didnt change it. When watching the Man U v celtic game a week earlier i felt that Strachan bottled the tactics battle. He played a Killie move against them. But why didnt he pick out their weaknesses and punish them? make the game work for him, he had an opportunity with his wingers to crucify Gary Neville in the right back role, show Fergie that he is done as a Man U player, he never and Neville was allowed to push on and assist in the demolition instead of being hemmed back and ran ragged. Now thats not to say that that would exactly happen but its would have been at the very least a showing of attacking tactics! Roll onto Wednesday and we can look at the Celtic line up, weak link possibly? Wilson at left back? He is predominantly right footed and cant tackle with his left foot, a perfect opportunity to put our right winger (Danny) up against him put him under pressure by going outside again and again. Make Strachan change his team. Again these things are great in hindsight and i am merely a punter, but then these managers are paid big money to come up with ways of getting results surely.

Self belief seems to be lacking, from comments from our players and our manager in particular it doesnt seem to me that he feels we can beat them so basically were onto plums before a ball is kicked.

But to get back to my point, there seems to be a blatant lack of coaching in our players. It would be good if the fans all club together, a quid each and hire out the powerleague and see what actually goes on in a killie training session, if were paying for it then surely they cant refuse? or like other aspects of our esteemed club (they're disregard of the website poty) they are far more happy when they hide from they people who pay to see them and love them unconditionally. What a truely frightening combination that is after all.

Basically thats how i feel, i could go into detail about my disapointment in certain players performances, but what would be the point. I could talk about the poor refereeing seen again this season, tell me how the common man can get behind these guys when they are paid £800 a week minimum for a second income! yellow cards for first tackles for our players, Caldwell makes ten fouls adjudged to be the ref meritable in stopping the play but he goes uncarded, but again what would be the point. the thing that stood out for me on Wednesday was the obvious lack of the basic fundamentals that we are all taught from an early age. I havent played football to any sort of level in my life but i do know that at its core football hasnt changed, but the players have.

Because only one stand was given to away fans the moffat stand lay empty so fans were encouraged to bring their flags to be laid out. Sadly it all seemed a bit half arsed, the official sponsors ones were centre and pulled taut the rest maybe not so, mines is up there, to the right of the big strip all crumpled up. bit of a shame. its a good idea though and hopefully they flags get laid out in the big unused spaces in future. Our flag is three bars, blue white and blue with KFC stitched onto it. its been at ibrox, hampden, Dens, Stranraer, the piggery, shelboure and Nice to name a few. Hopefully it'll go further afield next year!

My gamble on Wednesday was Everton who obliged me with a last minute winner. 11and a half on won just over £30. So Saturday sees 15ish quid onto my single. Joy. Rest assured it wont be going on Killie!

Season Diary 11

Entry #11: 29th October 2008

Surely we have a chance tonight, surely we do, we do dont we? Celtic in the Co-op quarter final tonight and i am hopeful. Not confident, hopeful.

Lets look at the evidence, Celtic got skelpt last week in Manchester and their reasons were that they had none of their big strikers, Samaras, Vennegoor and Killen. Well Samaras has tortured us at Rugby Park on his two appearances here so glad he is out and Vinegar has scored against us ans i always liked Killen as a player when at Hibs, always wanted us to try get him on loan. Anyway, that leaves "fatbhoy" Scott MacDonald and Cillian Sheridan, Sheridan no-one knows shit about but MacDonald really shouldnt strike any fear into us, i mean at the end of the day he is still the wee Australian guy who did fuck all at Ruggers when he was a Motherwell player, is he not? Plus he is "fat".

Actually who knows what team wee gord will put out agaisnt us and for that matter what team we will see in blue and white. I have my ticket, main stand, and hopefully we'll win. as i probably mentioned celtic are only getting one behind tghe goals stand and ticket prices have been reduced so the idea is thta us Killie fans will get out and behind our team, by looks of things this might not be the case but i still hope.

Saturday there we were robbed against Falkirk at home, i say robbed, we were pants poor but still probably deserved a point, cant remember Falkir making a clear cut chance apart from their two goals, a statement which seems strange but when you look at their goals which came form a horible Combe mistake and the dodgiest penalty ever (at least this week, Killie seem to have the monopoly on terrible penalty decision against us this season) them apart they created nothing. our goal, the first of the season for Donovan Simmonds was a good one but as it was in injury time it was too little too late. Would like to see the big man get a wee run in the team incidentally.

i say it was too little too late, it really shouldnt have been, there should have been at least another three or four minutes injury time but our referee deemed only three minutes were all we were getting. The referee in question is Mr Mike McCurry, remember him, he was our referee when Celtic were last down here, funnily enough on the day the national newspapers ran stories about him, this was covered in an earlier post so i will simply describe his ineptiude in this match. He was completely conned for the penalty, Barrett falls infront of our man Hamill but stages it in such a manner that as he is halfway down and stopped, Hammill can nudge him on the arse to seal the deal. Never a penalty, its baltant cheating. As much as i think McCurry is hopeless i feel slightly sorry for referees in general, their job is made that much harder due to the incessant cheating of the players on the aprk, from stealing five yards with a throw in or taking ocrners outside that wee marking, whats the point? But making the most of defenders to win penalties takes the biscuit. Its no wonder they get things wrong because they have to have eyes on the back of their heads to keep an eye on teh cheating players! STOP IT! Play the game right ya shower of dicks! All that said McCurry is an experienced ref and should have seen the challenge for what it was, a dive and gave a by kick. Something McCurry can take full blame of however is the injury time played. Most of it came from the sending off where Stevie Lovell kicks out at Hammill (he features a lot in this game) then thumps his face into the ground. The mellee that ensued took roughly three and a half minutes to clear up then the linesman shouts him over for a chat, another minute or two, but the board comes up on 89mins with 3 minutes injury time on it, what the fuck? Fairs fair, we the fans are the most important and we pay to see whole games so its time stuff like that is sorted out.

All in all a bad day at the office, i went back to work after the match knowing that the Killiefc.com POTY was being held in there and Combe was coming to pick up his trophy for his displays last year, well i was foaming at the mouth when he boobed for the first goal so it was refreshing to hear him put his hands up and accept responsibility for his part in the goal when he made a speech after recieving his award. Good bloke. Sad matter of the POTY awards ceremony was the lack of people at it, both website users and club representatives. From the club only Combe himself turned up, kudos to him however the cynic in me says he would have made it if he hadnt won it. It is really surprising that a club which constantly asks its fans to support them adn get behind the players doesnt support us the fans in return. Surely it would have been a good idea to get the players out amongst the fans to speak to them and strike up some bonds. Players like Danny Invincible and Willie Gibson who take pelters from groups of fans could have got a positve turn in reaction had they bothered to come. Its sad but it seems that our players think they are better than the fans who support them, they will learn that this isnt true and its a short career and the adulation and people whoa re keen to talk to them will dwindle as the years go on. We are crying out for some sort of PR person who would see these things for what they are, positive ways of creating a positive fanbase and not jsut a waste of fifteen or twenty minutes of pampered players time. The website users were thin in their numbers too, for a variety of reasons i am sure, poor show i would say considering soem have thousands of posts in their time on that site so it obviously is a integral aprt of their lives, but dont want to support it when the time comes to come from behind their online persona and avator.

Nothing much happened in the week preceeding the Falkirk match, we cant play an italian trialist in our games so we sent him to Dundee where i think he couldnt play either, great, and it now looks like he wont be signing. i have been informed that he is good in the fountian of all football knowledge that is Football Manager so we might actually be missing out here. To bring this segment full circle, i considered applying for the vacant Dundee job, it only required a CV and covering letter i think, but didnt because i havent played FM in about a year! It would be good if some eccentric chairman of some nohoper non league Englsih team decided to give a FM geek a go, in fact that would make a terrific British comedy idea, i think i will put together a wee treatment!

Motherwell game the week before, won one nil, a late winner from Bryson the highlight of a dull game. Nothing much else to report except that i am becoming increasingly despondant about my hopes of landing a coupon this season. so Bryson's goal was the highlight of my weekend that weekend. (provided you dont count Holly Willoughby, who i say it as Why-loaby and think i am great and dead cool but my girl says it Willow-booby which is actually far better, Holly is the highlight of my weekend most weekends these days)

Talking of coupons, let me tell you of my new gambling venture. I start with my £2 seed money, doubled because the girl has decided to join me on the adventure, so my £4 now will be put on a single bet, if it wins then i half the money and keep one half safe and gamble the other. doenst make sense? i have started it so it should come clear with this.

on the saturday of the Falkirk game i put my £4 on Exeter at 6/4 they duly won 1-0 so i have now a tenner in my kitty, by i, i mean we by the way, we (the girl and me) have a tenner. On the Sunday i halfed the tenner, kept one half and stuck the other on AC Millan at 5/6 away at Atalanta, another 1-0 win saw us collect £9.17, add that to the fiver i kept and we have £14.17. last night i put £7 (half of our kitty) on MK Dons at 5/4 and they returned £15.75 after winnig 2-1. So far so good, i will be putting on £11.50 tonight on a team i havent picked yet and i will report back on results. I should let you know also that as this grows obvioulst my stakes grow (provided i keep winning) I for one am looking forward to the high stakes game, Natalie isnt so keen!

Back to the game tonight. Fingers crossed were in the pot for the Semi final draw tomorrow and i can write positive stuff on here. i must remember to blog more often cos these pan 10days entries are time consuming and sore on the back.

Season Diary 10

Entry #10: 17th October 2008

Things that have happened since i last posted, Killie won in Edinburgh. 2-1, but i wasnt there. wish i was as i wanted to see captain for the day (maybe longer) Pasca took Frazer Wright and Jamie Hamill by the hand i have heard after the final whistle and all three did a Klinsmann dive to the Killie fans. sounds good to me.

The Germans went home. (i will explain the significance of the Germans in the near future i think, in a slow week)

I went to Blackpool for an afternoon on my way to Liverpool. Blackpool is a bit of a shithole these days but it made me think that a seaside tour preseason type thing would be great. Play three or four teams all form the coast, they can be conference teams or league teams, whatever, but it would let the fans follow us in numbers, and i think it'd be great. While in Blackpool i had a shot of those camel races where you throw balls up a lane for points, i got beat, i had a mr whippy ice cream and had a pint down central pier. Really though give Blackpool the casinos, it needs some serious cash thrown at it.

Scotland played and drew nil nil. i was there, it was dire. type in greatest ever misses into youtube if you want to see the highlights of the match. Its the first time i have ever heard two groans of dissapointment for the same chance. once when it happened and again when they showed the replay on the big screens that replaced the old scoreboards. Kilmaurs collectively disowned their favourite son, statin that he was form Coatbridge or something anyway. Just kidding, heid up big Chris!

The next day Killie u19's went to Scumerset to play the enemy in the Youth Cup, we won on penalties. wonders will never cease. It may be the last ever derby at Somerset doue to it being a piggery and getting sold so its nice to leave on a win. though a cup game in January is on my lsit for Santa.

The other big Kris packed in international football the next day, Boydie! what a dick, grow up mate. His time at Killie was mentioned in press at time during the week, his aptitute during training, doesnt do enough work, only scores goals. YAWN! Thing is big Boydie is still a major topic of conversation in the Killie Nation, for all he left us to for a pittance and its said by some that he hates us and hopes we go down (i have heard from some guy down the pub that these were his words, i dont believe it incidentally) a good lot of Killie fans treat him like our own and dont like to hear bad about him. Lets face it, when playing of Killie we dont exactly play rampaging football and he was always back for corners so this pish about him not doing any work kinda stick in my craw. Anyway, enough about Rangers players, just to add, tell Smith what you told Burley because its him and Mcliesh and le Guen that have fucked up your head big man, they all wont play you either. Or come back to Killie!

The Scottish Cup got a sponsor, or rather it got sponsor cash, the name of the Cup will be "The Homecoming Cup" to publicise the SNP plan to bring expats home for the 250th Aniversary of Burns Day. To begin with i thought it was a bit of a mince name but im coming round to it, still not sure whether its this seasons cup or next though, some research required. Also it must be added that because of the Burns connotations Ayr Utd will not be getting a bye to the final, chances are they will be getting pumped in the early rounds. Oh it would be nice if it was us!

Dundee Utd chairman Eddie Thompson passed away due to his long battle with cancer. There has been links between the two clubs due to different circumstances over the past few years and Eddie helped to create these links. i hope there is at least one Killie top on show at the memorial at Tannadice. RIP Eddie.

And thats about it. Motherwell tomorrow and after Scotland last week, im glad to get back to domestic football (havent said that in years!), a team we havent beat at home in the league for three years or something. A statistic which hides rather a lot actually considering they have only been here one each year. In fact thats another fact i should check. I am going and i hope agaisnt hope for a win. I also have my ticket for the Celtic cup game, half price through my uncle, i have never been this organised!

Killie Roll Call

Article Appeared in Killie Hippo 82 (out 17th October 2008)

Almost a month ago one of the greatest stadiums in sport was bid farewell. Its team hasn’t had the greatest of seasons so no playoffs this year meaning the final game fell in September and not as a fairytale ending in the Fall Classic, The World Series which is at the end of October. The team? The New York Yankees, the stadium, the world renowned Yankee Stadium.

Anyone who knows me knows I have a acute love of baseball and take great umbrage to any derisory call such as it just a big game of rounder’s. But this isn’t about baseball, well it is but its not at the same time. You’ll see. No, I defy anyone, football fan or not to deny any knowledge of the Yankees or Yankee stadium, it’s a sporting institution and the stadium will be sadly missed.
The final game was shown on channel fives excellent coverage and the build up was great and the atmosphere seemed immense. The game started around half an hour to an hour late due to many videos being shown and people being interviewed so on and so on. When the game started there was guests from yesteryear in the commentary box to call the game, discussing their own personal memories of the place and basically reminiscing. All well and good but this is a Killie fanzine, what’s my point?

When I watch these things I automatically think about what elements we can nick for our own team and something that stood out, something the ESPN coverage centred on, was the last ever Yankee roll call at the old Yankee Stadium. The roll call consists of fans chanting the on field teams names individually and it reverberates around the stadium. Starting with the left fielder and going through the positions in turn the chant each players name repeatedly till he acknowledges the fans somehow, then they move on. Johnneee day-mon ad nauseum for centre fielder Johnny Damon, De-rek Jeeetur over and over again for Derek Jeter. I think we should adopt something like this.

I really do, and it could be done at all matches home and away, and whats more it can be completely adopted by band of young fans in the bottom right hand side of the east stand. A good bunch of boys I think, they have taken a bit of a snash, one time in particular Killie kickback users may recall when one user accused them of a whole manner of things (drug use?) but personally I think they are great. I use the Airdrie cup game as case in point as their singing non stop all game was superb. So I am offering this to them to take on and make their own. I think it could really work and in a area where copying is a gimme and actually quite annoying (fans copying each other by singing Flower of Scotland at Rangers games? BORING! all the Hibbees are gay, EH? the ring of fire? ALSO BORING! and other things that are basically lifted straight from our peers) obviously innovative new chants would be the biz, but I say if your going to copy, don’t make it obvious, and I think this fit’s the bill.

Oh Alan Combe, Allan Allan Allan Combe, and on and on and on and on. Combe gives a wave. We cheer and move on. One James Fowler, theres only one James Fowler! Jamie (remember he used to be Jamie Fowler?) claps the fans as it rolls out for a shy. And so on, Manu Manuel, Manu Manuel, Manu Manuel, Manuel Pascali! The godlike genius stops and bows for the fans (he probably wouldn’t but you get my jist) Sa-mon Sa-mon, Sa-mon Sa-mon, Sa-mon Sa-mon Sa-mon, I say! You get the idea.

Its easy to join in with as long as one group starts it, you don’t need to learn any difficult lyrics and it can be taken all over Scotland. Young kids can get involved as they don’t have to take off their shoes, and the as long as they recognise the players and know their names then its easy followed. And if the players don’t respond then we will still have a wall of sound till half time. I think this could really take off at Rugby Park where we are often accused, even in arguments amongst ourselves, that the atmosphere sucks. People often go on about it being better when at away game (drink plays a big part in this I am sure) but I think this could kick something off. Lets face it, playing music over the tannoy when we get a corner is absolute baws and offers nothing to the atmosphere. That idea is stolen wholesale from the states but unlike the roll call its not the fans who call that shots, lets face it, the only thing that creates atmosphere it is a good old fashioned sing song. I haven’t noticed any team in Scotland doing this so we could be the first.
If your interested or cany make any sense of what I am saying type yankee roll call into youtube and have a look at the fans videos of their time as a “bleacher creature” at Yankee stadium. It’ll put the hair on the back of your neck on end, imagine that feeling at a game against the old firm? The whole Killie crowd chanting constantly as we cheer our team, it would make us all feel tremendous and I think the players would get a kick out of it too.



Ruud Kerouac
Killie Beat Writer

Season Diary 9

Entry #9: Friday 3rd October 2008

I heard yesterday that Killie have decided that for the quarter final the prices will be £15 for adults and a fiver i think for kids. Also Celtic are only getting one stand for this game, the away stand, the Chadwick Stand. Yeah! A good decision has been made for once. i hope us the fans do the right thing and go in our numbers, could this be the time for us to reclaim our ground from the old firm and for ths first time in years have a home game that feels like a home game?

Sadly i have a sneaking feeling that if it doesnt go to plan and the crowd isnt the greatest it is a reason that can be trotted out any time in the future when it comes to how we segregate the big games and rubbed in our faces. Only time will tell though, as long as the likes of frazer wright who today had somethin (meaningless) to say about his part in the Nakamura thing from the last game keeps the game in the limelight i am hopeful we can do ourselves a favour.

The German Killie/Kaiserslautern fans are over for the weekend, a good bunch of folk. there is betwen 20 and 30 of them over this time round and they are going up to Tynecastle tomorrow for the game, above is a picture from their visit last year. A fair crowd goes over there in May to recipricate and last year they were there for the last game of the season. some can be spotted on this video, it ws all fun adn games celebratin K-town staying up on the pitch, then this happened.

They are hardy boys these Germans!

Season Diary 8

Entry #8: Wednesday 1st October 2008

Last night celtic kept up their stinking record away from home in the Champions league, who gives a fuck really but it got me thinking of our quarter final. Our game falls in the midweek between the midweeks Celtic play their Man U double header. Now the first one is away, chances are they will get turned over because, well because thats just what happens. Personally i cant think that how, record which stands at one point from six will change after that, except that it will now be one point from nine. Then its our game, then its Man U again and possibly the parachute into the Uefa cup might become more difficult if they get beat at home taking them to one point from twelve and meaning most likely that the away game (the dreaded "away" word being paramount in the celtic fans mind) at Aalborg will make or break their European campaign.

But as a said, who gives a fuck. I am just, maybe a little overprecaucious that we might get stung becuase they have made a european arse of it, thats all and i thought i would share it in all its paranoid glory.

Also i watched the football at my work last night and a van pulled up at the traffic lights at the side of the pub and waited patiently. S. McSkimming in big letters on the side of it. The only thing going through my mind was Shaun, Shaun McSkimming, i wonder if maybe the van owner and plumber it think it said he was is actually called Steven and is making a living in the Killie area by having the same second name and initial of a Killie legend? or maybe not. wish i took a photo but the lights went green and it was gone.